Give and Go. http://giveandgo.posterous.com Most recent posts at Give and Go. posterous.com Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:41:00 -0700 Goodbye Posterous :( http://giveandgo.posterous.com/goodbye-posterous http://giveandgo.posterous.com/goodbye-posterous

Is anyone else as sad as I am to see this go?  I fell in love with Posterous from the early days.  Still not over it.  This and the death of Google Reader is also my biggest sadness.

I transferred 100 of my posts over to Tumblr for now.  Of course, my username is taken already, so I had to settle with something similar.  sigh. 

giveandg0.tumlbr.com

Bookmark me.  Follow me.  Comment me.  Whatever you like.  If anyone even reads this thing anymore.  I will be around.  I am also on Twitter @giveandgo

Thank you Posterous for an amazing run.  Not just my soapbox or just any old blog.  My confidant.

 

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Mon, 28 Jan 2013 08:29:00 -0800 Schnitzel on the Icing http://giveandgo.posterous.com/schnitzel-on-the-icing http://giveandgo.posterous.com/schnitzel-on-the-icing

Arnold was on Fallon last week and his commentary on his old movie scenes = hilarious.  I especially enjoyed Commando.   

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Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:17:00 -0800 Laker Fans Hang On? http://giveandgo.posterous.com/laker-fans-hang-on http://giveandgo.posterous.com/laker-fans-hang-on

The Pain.

This one goes out to my fellow Laker fans.  Does it sting right now?  No?  How about NOW?  Not yet?  Well, NOW?  I don't know what it's like to pour salt into a wound, because I've personally never tried it, nor do I want to.  But I am only to assume this is what it feels like.  Oh, it hurts all right. 

Most recently, D'Antoni has said, "We’ve got an All-Star team. Have you ever watched an All-Star Game? It’s God-awful because everybody gets the ball, they go one-on-one and then they play no defense. That’s our team.”

Chew on that for a moment.  I sit here writhing in basketball pain and trying to dissect the situation.  I'm an emotional person though sometimes I deny my emotions and cover them up to appear A-OK.  Someone asks me, yo, what's happening with your Lakers?  And I'm close to speechless.  Are you as stumped as I am?  This is a downward spiraling mystery.

It's come to the point where I'm not quite sure why I hang on in the 4th quarter with that skinny bit of hope that we're going to miraculously make a comeback, only to get disappointed in the end.  Wait, I remember now.  I'm a full-fledged fan.  This is my team. 

Loyalty.

When people get married, it's til death to you part.  I'm currently married to the Lakers.  As bad as it gets, I can't cut myself loose.  Bandwagoners may divorce their teams with no second thoughts.  But I'm in this for the long haul.  It is completely like a relationship.  I'm with you honey, no matter how bad it gets.  We'll fight through this.

But, like the worst times in relationships, I get angry.  I get frustrated.  I want to throw things at the TV.  I walk out of the room to avoid more anger.  The worst game that did me in, was Lakers hosting OKC on a Friday night and coming up with a 15 point loss.  It wasn't the score that deflated me, as much as it was the lack of showmanship.  The frustrating missed shots.  And the young beast Kevin Durant drilling us from the other side, without hesitation.  We didn't just lose.  We got beat down with a beatdown stick.  And by no means do I encourage self-flagellation.  Let's not give up.  Where's our team spirit?  Where's our drive to win?  Are we simply too full from winning championship after championship that we've spoiled ourselves to the point where we don't hunger to win again? 

Performance Review.

Guys like MWP want to stay a Laker for the remainder of his career.  That's fine and dandy and all, LA is a beautiful place to retire, no lie.  Where else can you hit up the clubs by night and then show up to work the next day to put in your time and make your 6.7 million salary?  I admit, after the initial conversion from Ron Artest to Metta World Peace, it took some time for him to ramp up his shot.  Now, every three that Metta hits, the crowd elicits a natural World Peace!  To his credit, he has improved his game.

This doesn't change the overall scheme of things.  As a whole, the team is questionably lacking what analysts insist over and over again, "chemistry".  Give them time, they say, they're a new team. 

So time check.  We're halfway through the season now.  Where's this so-called chemistry? 

Putter*Putter*Sput*sput* no gas.. no motivation... if the team chemistry starts at the top with the coach, I think someone is bound to get fired.  My friend refuses to call him D'Antoni, and just Antoni, because of his lack of D.  Yes, this is a joke that seemingly doesn't grow stale, though I'm sure Antoni is more than tired of hearing about it.  Well, then, prove us all wrong. 

Mike Brown was a defensive coach and failed to get our D going.  So if coach after coach fails to bring out the best in us, where do all fingers point to?  Isn't there someone to blame?  I know what you're thinking.  If you're like 89% of the Laker fans out there, you're thinking, yes this is the coach's fault.  Hiring D'Antoni was the worst decision.  Not forking over all that we could do bring an exhausted Phil Jax out of retirement was a mistake.  There's that clever YouTube video, Sh*t that Laker fans say.  Admit it... all your Laker fan friends are all muttering the same thing.  And they're all angrier than the new Pelicans logo.  Insert *angry Pelican face* here.

Pel

We're supposed to believe that this team is going to get better, give them time let them gel..  so many problems, it baffles most, to see why a team with such talent can continue to spiral downhill.  Where is the faith, people?  Or better yet, where is the faith, self?  Where is your faith?

Kobe is still fueling ahead with a fury, but as we all know teams that rely on ONE guy does more harm than good.  What?  Allen Iverson?  Whatever happened to Allen Iverson?  He WAS "practicing" soccer somewhere?  Wait, what?  Soccer?  I digress.  But if history teaches us anything, it's to not fall into the same traps that others have gone down.  While we are blessed with a team superstar, we also need a team facilitator.  Those Mamba-esque tough shots when they sink through the basket, gives you such a high, you forget that we're down.  You cheer YEAH MAMBA!  You forget that you're fighting back from being down because there's that silver lining in a doomfilled cloud. 

And Kobe TWEETS now.  As if my life wasn't already gripped by Twitter's grasp, now we're talking.

Tweet
So if Mamba has motivational words to appease the fans, this should be even extra incentive for him to play his heart out.  Quite honestly, I feel like he's doing what he can.  For an "old guy" he called himself, he is showing up to play like he's still got fire under his feet.  But maybe we just need a few more savvy passes. Not that we can't get that out of Nash.  But lesson learned from the ever-so-generous LBJ, sometimes passing can do wonders.

Oh then it pains me to see people's reaction to Pau.  We should've traded him a long time ago, says one person.  He's Ga-Soft, says another.  Breathe in for a moment.  Exhale.  Pau.  Slump?  What is this slump?  You know who I used to hate that had a similar slump but in a completely different sport?  Andruw Jones when he was on the Dodgers.  Oh the travesty.  I just don't want Pau to be on the same wavelength in the sports realm as that guy.  We're better than that Pau, remember?  Euro players have to tap into what they're best at.  Sure, he's not the beefiest, brawniest forward.  So tap into your other strengths.  For that 10 to 15-foot release, no excuse, it should go in everytime.  I don't care if your rebounds are soft, just rebound.  Hone those Euro-skills we all wish to have.

Paugasol

Letting go of Bynum was a relief. I just didn't see him fit as a Laker.  Him with his young, I can have whatever I want including a fleet of cars and two blonde girls at his side attitude, yet only exhibiting brief stints of shining on the actual court.  I don't care if you wear disco pants and floss like you're royalty off the court, but you better make up for it when you've got your uniform on.  The once-in-a-blue-moon double doubles wasn't convincing enough for me.

Bynum

Still, unlike everyone and their moms who started posting Dwight Howard photos on their profile pages, I couldn't fully jump on the Dwight Howard wagon either.  As much as I like his sunny disposition, it just seemed he wasn't 100% physically fit.  And now, he's plagued with unfortunate injuries where we sit on the brink of suspense wondering if he's broken.  Oh no, he's broken!  And more questions people start posing about D12 - will he stay or will he go at the end of the season?  How does knowing that affect our season at the moment?  Doesn't all this he-said-she-said, rumor-mill just make everything more murky? 

D12

Well isn't that just the harpoon that killed the whale?  What?  No seriously.  We're so quick to embrace someone and as soon as they can't achieve our over-expectations, we're like, go ahead and leave.  That's the price that comes with being an athlete.  Loved by all when you succeed.  Prepare to take the blame when you fail.  The kind heart in me says, aww, that really sucks.  But the sports fan in me says, suck it up then!  Get it together.

The lack of big men situation is undoubtedly our biggest curse.  Were we doomed from the getgo?  Was the Lakers TWC broadcast mess in the beginning of the season a precursor of the fail that was to come?    

Twfai

It's No Mystery

No, we didn't get Chris Paul, OK?  We didn't even get Cliff Paul.  But let's get over the past.  I'm actually happy for the Clippers because you think our season is bad, Clippers have been in a nightmare of pain for many years.  Props to their true fans for sticking it out with them in previous years. 

Cpau

No, we don't have Phil Jackson, OK?  But remember, when he left, it wasn't all peaches and cream either.  Even an 11-time championship winning coach might not be the miracle solution to this team.

Pjax

No, Dwight isn't 100%. and yes, Nash is 38 years old.  Injuries happen.  Age is inevitable.

No, we are not playing Defense.  Why?  How does one forget to play defense?

No, we don't have extra money laying around to recruit additional talent because we pay Kobe 30 some million dollars and Pau 19 million dollars. 

So we have to work with what we have.  Although, it's still a business and in the interest of improving situations, trades are always possible.

If you're a true sports junkie, you believe in the intangibles.  The heart.  The team spirit.  The drive.  The hunger.  This all falls into play.  You want to know that your team's energy is at its all time high.  That the quick cuts from a surprising Earl Clark are a spark of life in what appears to be a wilting game. That Mamba will strike and the rest of the team will be empowered from it. That Nash wants to finish his career with a ring on his finger.  That Dwight is Superman underneath it all. 

I want to believe.  Because when we do bad, I b*tch and I cry.  When we do well, I boast.  My heart is in-sync with you, Lakers, and if it means anything, I will still hang on to that thread of hope in every 4th quarter no matter what the score is. I don't know WHAT more we can do as a team to start winning, I'll leave that up to the top dogs.  But hopefully every bit of fan voodoo will help. We must ride out the bad days and hope for the good ones.  It may not be today.  It may not be tomorrow.  Heck, the way things are going, it may not even be this season.  But I assure you like everything else in life, the glory days will return.

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Mon, 07 Jan 2013 15:27:00 -0800 PIXAR Love. http://giveandgo.posterous.com/pixar-love http://giveandgo.posterous.com/pixar-love

Blue Umbrella to be released as a short before Monsters University, coming June 21, 2013. sigh. be still, my heart. so so cute!

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Fri, 14 Dec 2012 10:22:00 -0800 Senseless.. http://giveandgo.posterous.com/senseless http://giveandgo.posterous.com/senseless

I was so discouraged when I heard the news of Connecticut today - someone open fired and killed at least 20 people.. the worst part, including children.

My heart breaks.

I don't understand why this happens.   I don't understand who would do such a thing.  If they are truly "mentally ill" does that really justify their action?  If they are that mentally ill, then perhaps they shouldn't roam the earth.  Sources say the shooter is dead, and I feel no sympathy for him.

My only feeling right now is sadness.  I feel sad for the families who have lost their loved ones to a senseless tragedy.  I feel awful for the people who survived this tragedy and will have forever engrained in them this horrific moment. 

Cue the waterworks.  Everyone near and dear to me knows I'm not one who doesn't shed tears.  I think I actually have a malfunctioning tear duct that cranks out a tear even in cold weather.  In any case, I simply can't muster more words to describe the inner sadness that is triggered when you hear news like this to start your Friday.  Today is supposed to be a happy day.  A day that signifies the weekend is upon us.  I am reading people's twitter posts and it relieves me to know we are all human.  To know that we all share this grief, makes it a little more comforting, though not much better knowing that it doesn't erase the tragedy of events.  I will say, the good people in the world thankfully outnumber the bad.  And life interruptions such as this, well, the good ones will come together and we will get through it.  Perhaps it's a reminder that we should love one another everyday because we don't know what other asshole is going to ruin it for the rest of us. 

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Fri, 23 Nov 2012 11:13:00 -0800 In the spirit of the holidays.. http://giveandgo.posterous.com/in-the-spirit-of-the-holidays http://giveandgo.posterous.com/in-the-spirit-of-the-holidays

This pop-song medley with a holiday twist by Jimmy Fallon and Rashida Jones is .. cute. Insert extra smiley face here.

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Wed, 14 Nov 2012 15:12:00 -0800 Crushin' on Kyrie Irving http://giveandgo.posterous.com/crushin-on-kyrie-irving http://giveandgo.posterous.com/crushin-on-kyrie-irving

I have a major crush right now..

... on Kyrie Irving.  I love his quickness, and gracefulness in switching hands for the up and under...  I also think any player can be great by excelling their own game, but a player who can also assist his teammate to become a great player, is by far the most valuable player to any team.  I really hope Kyrie Irving goes far, because true basketball lies in his hands.

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Tue, 13 Nov 2012 11:13:00 -0800 Solange - TRUE http://giveandgo.posterous.com/solange-true http://giveandgo.posterous.com/solange-true

Her name means angel of the sun in French.   I think she is divine.  Beautiful and talented. 

 

This latest song is so visually and audibly appealing, I love it. Her new album drops November 27.

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Mon, 12 Nov 2012 10:17:00 -0800 Rihanna at her Best http://giveandgo.posterous.com/rihanna-at-her-best http://giveandgo.posterous.com/rihanna-at-her-best

She's come a long long way from Come Mr. DJing on Pon De Replay...

As much fun as those Rihanna days were, I think she's really doing her fans and beyond a service by singing deeper music and emotion on her latest album..  Diamonds got stuck in my head pretty quickly..

This one might just stay.

 

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Thu, 08 Nov 2012 15:39:00 -0800 Boycotting the Lakers for 2012-2013. http://giveandgo.posterous.com/boycotting-the-lakers-for-2012-2013 http://giveandgo.posterous.com/boycotting-the-lakers-for-2012-2013

UPDATE * * * * * * * * * * 

So less than 1 week after I posted this, DirecTV came through and worked out a deal with TWC to broadcast the new TWC station.  I'm still bitter that it came to this.. only because everything is based on money, money, money.  I guess, it is what it is.  I tried to turn the other cheek but I couldn't..  this is still my heart&soul team so for what it's worth I do support them.  But I was hurt and that pain won't be forgotten and I am glad I have an avenue to share how I felt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Laker statement released today is nothing more than a disappointment.  After my father's loyalty for over 40 years to this franchise, and my own loyalty, we regret to inform you Lakers, we will be boycotting you for the NBA 2012-13 season.  As a DirecTV subscriber, what choice do we have?  To SWITCH our network provider? 

Directvlakerstwc
Your apology is merely a slap in the face.  And your "reminder" that there are other providers we can go to, is even more salt to the wound.

I will not have a multi-billion dollar sports organization dictate what cable provider we use.  This is the next worst thing next to watching your favorite team move to another city.  We've stuck by you through the good, the bad, the glorious, and the ugly, and my pride in my city's team has never faltered until recently.  I was there for you when we went through Del Harris, Dunleavy, Kurt Rambis, etc!  No matter the lowest droughts (pre-Kobe and post-Magic), I've been there through thick and thin!  I understand the 'business' behind the sport, but it still does not justify the genuine hurt I feel as a fan.  Frustration, is an understatement. 

How can I truly support a team, if I cannot see them with my own eyes?  If I cannot root them on from home, how do I stay dedicated to them as my home team? For those of you who are unaware of the situation, some background info to catch you up to speed.  If you already know what is going on, then feel free to skip ahead.

Facts I've collected from various articles regarding the Laker-TWC deal, which has frustrated us fans aplenty >>

The Lakers have a league-high $99.2-million payroll, which will cost them an additional $28.9 million in luxury taxes. Starting next season, that burden becomes greater. NBA teams must pay a $1.50-to-$1 ratio for the first $4.99 million they are over the luxury-tax threshold, a $1.75-to-$1 ratio for being $5 million to $9.99 million above the threshold, a $2.50 ratio for $10 million to $14.99 million over, and a $3.25 ratio for $15 million to $19.99 million beyond the threshold. The Lakers will also have to shell out more money in revenue-sharing.
If not for the Lakers' cable deal with Time Warner, the deals with Dwight Howard and Steve Nash might not have happened. (via LA Times)

Currently only Time Warner Cable and Bright House Networks offer both Time Warner Cable SportsNet and Time Warner Cable Deportes. With the $3.95 per subscriber cost for cable and satellite providers, the best case scenario is an agreement to be done hours within the second game of the season on Oct. 31 against the Blazers. (via LAist)  (Update:  Now Verizon FiOs, AT&T, Charter, and several others also have worked a deal with TWC to offer their station.  DirecTV and Dish have not reached an agreement)

Lakers fans who do not subscribe to Time Warner Cable systems have made known their displeasure over their inability to see the games, since the team’s new *20-year, $3 billion* contract with the company has essentially removed the NBA team from view for large swaths of Southern California. (via Press Enterprise)

For those who DO get TWC, there will be far more extensive pregame and postgame shows – especially compared to when the road games were on KCAL/9 – plus nightly Lakers news and features. There will be 24-hour programming with no infomercials. Some Galaxy soccer, Sparks women's basketball, CIF high school action and Mountain West football and basketball ... yet mostly a lot of Lakers, such as an entire reality series covering the recent Laker Girls tryouts or the specific moment of Nash being welcomed by Jeanie Buss in her office. (via OC Register)

<<<<<<

In summary, the Lakers get $$$ from TWC over the next 20 years, to help pay for the acquisition of high profile players and a hefty luxury tax.  And all the other cable providers have to pay TWC $$$ to be able to provide it in their channel lineup. 

Perhaps someone can enlighten me on what is going on between DirecTV, TWC, and the Lakers right now?  I wanted to be able to point the finger at someone but sadly the only one I can point at right now is the Laker organization.  For not thinking in advance that this would upset their biggest fan market in Los Angeles.  I refuse to give in and sell out by jumping ship to a different cable provider.  I'm waiting for something to be worked out... until then, farewell Lakers, it was a life-long passion - and don't get me wrong, I'm sure I will hear about you through my social media networks, and catch brief highlights on ESPN..  but you are no longer a part of this devoted household.  I will no longer yell at the top of my lungs when the ball is in your hands.  I will no longer jump up and down when we secure a win.  I will no longer discuss Laker talk at the dinner table with my family.  I will no longer purchase any forum blue and gold parepharnalia.  I will have to fold up all my Laker tees and retire them in my drawer.  I will no longer boast about you through the internet.  Today is a sad day. 

Even if I submit my information on IWANTMYLAKERS.com 1 billion times, will it matter?  Will it make a difference?  Perhaps it is KARMA that you are not winning any games right now.  Logical people will say nonsense, that's a crapload of voodoocraft, but I'm telling you as a fan, there are things we believe in.  Anytime I'd miss a game, I had a bad feeling we'd be cursed to lose, so that's why I would fight so hard to catch every game possible.  So now what Lakers?  What do you intend to do about it?  Just send out a "sucks to be you" letter?  I want to be part of an organization that genuinely cares about the fans - and if you can only "know how frustrated we are" yet choose to idly stand by and not do anything about it, that to me indicates you've turned your back on me. 

Before anyone comments, just switch to something else, this is the PRINCIPLE.  Do what you have to do for your fans, because without us, what do you have? So NO, you do NOT have my continued support.  Until you fix this, you have lost me, and surely, plenty others.

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Mon, 05 Nov 2012 10:15:00 -0800 Starry, Starry Night http://giveandgo.posterous.com/starry-starry-night http://giveandgo.posterous.com/starry-starry-night

I've elevated this film to my FAVORITE movie of all time.  All time?  The essence of a girl's coming of age, mixed in with the loneliness and happiness she recognizes as she journeys through life.. I was deeply moved. 

 

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Mon, 15 Oct 2012 23:50:00 -0700 626 NIGHT MARKET - LOS ANGELES (SANTA ANITA RACETRACK) http://giveandgo.posterous.com/626-night-market-los-angeles-santa-anita-race http://giveandgo.posterous.com/626-night-market-los-angeles-santa-anita-race

Food.  Food.  More Food.  To curb your foodie-appetite, why not check out the next 626 Night Market which kicks off this weekend, October 20 - October 21, 2012.  It's a NIGHT Market so swing by, pick up your friends and family, and head over to Santa Anita Park by nightfall.

In between inhaling corn and skewers and other drool-worthy eats, check out the BEATNIXX booth, smack dab in the center of the park near the entrance walkway.  With all kinds of accessories starting at $5 for both guys and girls - hook yourself up with a little something AND get a freebie, while limited supplies last with your purchase.

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Mon, 15 Oct 2012 11:19:00 -0700 Xfactor 2012 Favorite http://giveandgo.posterous.com/xfactor-2012-favorite http://giveandgo.posterous.com/xfactor-2012-favorite

I know there is just too much talent to choose from.  I wish they'd pick all of them.  But then it wouldn't be a competition.  For the record, I auditioned for Xfactor a couple years ago and it was an amazing, but nerve-wracking experience but I wouldn't have traded it.  It was definitely a You Only Live Once or as Alpha would joke You Only Die Once (YODO??!) thing and I have nothing but respect for all human beings who decide they would put themselves in front of other people to critique them and decide if they're the ONE they are looking for.

Anyway, Carly is the one. 

If you haven't listened to her, this song brimmed me up with emotion and filled my eyes with tears.  It made me believe. How can someone who is only 13 years old evoke so much feeling in a song? I'm speechless. :Amazed:

 

And don't you know that I Would want to put someone on repeat that would make me want to believe in something I would want so bad? Lyrics// This is more than a typical kinda thing Felt the jones in my bones when you were touching me Oh, oh Didn't want to take it slow In a daze, going crazed, I can barely think You're replaying in my brain, find it hard to sleep Oh, oh Waiting for my phone to blow Uh, oh, yup Now I'm here in a sticky situation Got a little trouble, yup, and now I'm pacing Five minutes, ten minutes, now it's been an hour Don't wanna think too hard, but I'm sour Oh, oh I can't seem to let you go See I've been waiting all day For you to call me, baby So let's get up, let's get on it Don't you leave me brokenhearted tonight Broken Hearted - Karmin //

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Wed, 26 Sep 2012 07:34:00 -0700 Cheering you on The Voice http://giveandgo.posterous.com/cheering-you-on-the-voice http://giveandgo.posterous.com/cheering-you-on-the-voice

I love the concept of this show better than the other shows.  My heart goes out to these people, you think it's easy they just go up and sing and it's done, and it's not.  There's a LOT of waiting involved, it's a long and nerve-wracking process.  But I love the end result!

So far my favorite singers:

Cheering you guys on!

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Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:43:00 -0700 Gangnam Style http://giveandgo.posterous.com/gangnam-style http://giveandgo.posterous.com/gangnam-style

If you haven't heard about the Gangnam Style, what prehistoric rock have you been living under?

I could show you the video that you've probably watched a million times, the song you've probably heard on the radio but don't quite know the words to, the newstory of the kids who got fired for making their own video to it, the man behind the song and dance that you're going to see for quite some time doing random cameos at award shows and talk shows across the nation...but instead I choose to show you my favorite Gangnam related video of the moment.

Check out this mom and son duo dancing to the Gangnam style on Ellen

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Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:34:00 -0700 Final Call: Seahawks TD http://giveandgo.posterous.com/final-call-seahawks-td http://giveandgo.posterous.com/final-call-seahawks-td

I don't watch football on a regular basis.

My diehard love is basketball.   Sadly, there is still over a month to go until the NBA starts.  What to do, what to do with myself?

But I heard I missed a controversial football play last night.  So I checked in to one of my new favorite websites TD Daily to catch up:

 

And asked my friend who has been a hardcore football fan since he was 6 years old what he thought and he replied:

"The defense should've swatted it."

I found this highly amusing.  To get someone like me to understand, it becomes equivalent to a "jumpball", haha, and it gets defaulted to the offense.  But the majority of people in my social media feed are arguably blaming the referees for not calling it an interception.   So quick to blame the refs eh?

At the end of the day though, maybe Packers should've just swatted it.  Then there wouldn't have been a controversial call to be made. haha

 

 

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Mon, 24 Sep 2012 09:58:00 -0700 Ne Me Quitte Pas http://giveandgo.posterous.com/ne-me-quitte-pas http://giveandgo.posterous.com/ne-me-quitte-pas

Some older music radiates from the heart. I watch a lot of today's music shows like the Voice and X-factor, and though I am highly entertained by the youth of today, nothing can compete with some of these older original vocals. Some days are days I like to leave my headphones in. Don't leave me.

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Thu, 20 Sep 2012 15:06:00 -0700 Weeding Out the Nobodies http://giveandgo.posterous.com/weeding-out-the-nobodies http://giveandgo.posterous.com/weeding-out-the-nobodies

There are people you will meet throughout your life, people will come and go, but your true friends are the ones who will stay with you through thick and thin. 

It's a natural process in life to weed out your friends and distinguish the meaningful ones from the so-called ones.

If you own a Facebook account, ask yourself, of those people on Facebook, which of those would actually contact you the old-fashioned way if Facebook did not exist?

Who would you be willing to take a bullet for and vice versa?  Those are your true friends.

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Mon, 17 Sep 2012 11:52:00 -0700 Finding your Page in your Chapter http://giveandgo.posterous.com/finding-your-page-in-your-chapter http://giveandgo.posterous.com/finding-your-page-in-your-chapter

Some people call it finding yourself.

I like to think we go through life making new discoveries about ourselves until the day we breathe our last breath. 

We all grow and mature and become someone wiser.  Every experience that we go through molds us.  Every loss, every challenge, every accomplishment.. every moment gets us to who we are today.

Before I start to sound too much like a motivational speaker, I'll supplement this blog post with a little revelation I've had about myself.  It's like I woke up and realized "where I'm at".  I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be, but I feel like this is where I am, and in that sense you have to make the best of it and not take anything for granted because there isn't much time we are offered in this world.   Life poses a lot of stress, a lot of day-to-day things we simply HAVE to get done to survive.  If we were all set in life and had no worries in the world, I'm not sure what you would find yourself doing.  Would you be any happier than you are now?  Would you feel more or less accomplished than the position you are at, here in this very moment?

For the first segment of our lives, as babies, toddlers, and children... we grow up at the same level.. the things we have on our minds are very self-centered, as they should be.  As kids, we are truly unaware of what the world has in store, so our naive perspective combined with our daily experiences shape our personalities.  That mini-version of us is a foundation of who we are today.  That's why people always stress the importance of parenting and guiding children properly, (although who is to say what way is proper), because that person will eventually blossom into an adult.

Then the majority of us go through similar patterns, we become educated, advancing one grade to the next.  We all have our shares of favorite teachers, disciplining, getting approached by bad influences, attending dances, taking tests, and a good percentage of us graduate eventually from these confusing days we call highschool.  We form friendships, we are forced to do group projects, and we learn things like algebra, which we wonder 20 years later, how much of it we really apply in a real world environment.  Surprisingly, for myself, cross multiplication to figure out ratios of items has come in real handy.

At any rate, then there are those of us who proceed on to college or the next level of education of some sort, and our peers in that environment are still "on the same page".   We all have parents who are waiting for us to come home on weekends or holidays, siblings, part-time jobs, and the occasional all-nighters to cram for that excruciating final.  Been there, done that.

Once you depart that comfort zone, that reality where you still haven't really matured enough to understand the painstakingly crazy responsibilities that lie ahead, that's when everyone lands on different pages of the book.  For a long while, you've always been going forward and the characters in your story flip through the pages at the same time.  Your friends and you are always involved in the same chapter so you get one another.  It's not merely about having things in common, it's about having the same agenda.

After you hit twenty-one, that's when you throw the guidelines out the window.  Some people skip forward to the advanced chapters and get married right away, others decide to take a break and travel (lucky them), some continue their education, and others just get their first entry-level job and now are excited to go to their first orientation and come to use the phrase "What's for lunch?" more often than not.

One of my best friends from college recently made this comment:  "As much fun as we have with our single friends and just married ones. There is so much more in common we have with our friends with kids".

And I saw this in their eyes already.  I knew my married-parent-couple besties were already down that road by the gleeful look in their eyes when like-minded married-parent-couples would gather together.  It's like there is a common thread that only they can understand as people who have settled down and are responsible for a beautiful family.

That sparkle in my friend's eye as she would proudly hold up her daughter's photo, and say, "even Blane says that my daughter isn't like the others, she's a special one."

I can't relate since I don't have any offspring of my own at the time, however I can feel that warm fuzzy feeling she is giving off about the pride and joy in her life.

We're the same age.  But I've realized age is nonsense I'd like to throw out the window.  It's something that's stamped on your drivers license, or filled out at the doctor's office, but after that, age becomes relative.  I've forever felt that I'm an adult stuck in a teen's body.  Perhaps I'm in denial that I'm getting older.

My point is, as we become adults, our mental state differs across all individuals regardless of age.  Some of us are already settled down and have someone to come home to at the end of a long day at work.  There are others who have carefree single lives seeking to get their drink on and party hearty once the weekend comes around.

I've recently discovered I'm at neither ends of that spectrum, but wading somewhere in the middle.  I'm past the stage where I don't feel the need to go to a pool party in Vegas and get so drunk by 3 o'clock in the afternoon that I have to pass out.  Yet I'm not quite at the stage where I feel like I want to be changing someone's diaper or picking someone up from school either.  I'm still in adventure-mode, I want to travel if time and budget permits.. and even if it means exploring my local area, I'm all about that.  But I also relish in the most simple things in life too, like watching a simple-minded independent film or going out to the Dodger game after work.  And food.  What is it about our generation that has become so Yelp-dependent, and makes everyone a self-proclaimed foodie? 

It's not that I don't have something in common with all my friends and the people I choose to surround myself with.  It's just that I feel we enjoy ourselves a little more when we find ourselves with people who just so happen to be on the exact same page, and chapter of our life-novel.  It's not to say that my married friends and friends who have kids don't know who I am.. they KNOW me like the back of their hand.  They can predict when I'm about to drop something on the floor, or I'm frantically looking for my phone, or how I might leave something at home if they don't remind me.  These are the people who know me best.  It's just a part of life.

Another friend of mine long ago told me, "as you age, you start to cut out the excess fat in your life."  I don't think it's necessary to cut one another out, but it's just finding your own space and making the most use of your valuable time.  If you're a freshly married newlywed couple, then you have a completely new life ahead of you as one unit.  If you're a couple who is pregnant for the first time, you are in a babies world.  If you're a couple who already has a beautiful family, this is your world together. 

I further told my friend who is married and has kids, "As a single person, I have the mindset where I'm thinking, I may die tomorrow, so what is something new I can try today?  And as a person who is already settled down, you may be thinking, I may die tomorrow, so will my wife and kids be taken care of?"

That's the difference.  It's not to say I don't want to be taken care of or taking care of someone else.  It's not to say I wouldn't want to be settled down one day.  But I'm OK with where I'm at right now.  I just wish I had a partner in crime to fulfill some of my non-stop adventures but at the same time, some of my single friends ARE my partner in crime right now.  I could use a male companion though, but he must be someone who wants to spend time with someone as awesome as me.  I feel like plenty of singles out there have plenty to give, but they like to test the waters out and shop around until they find the right one.. which I guess is a good thing because you never want to settle just to settle.  Yet, at the same time, you have to be careful because if you close your eyes on opportunity too long, the ship may set sail and leave for good. 

Even if there's a possibility I am fond of someone at the moment, I'm frightened for a lot of reasons.  The largest reason is my fear that I'm not good enough for someone who is particularly great.  In my mind, I'm effing awesome.  I'm the creme de la creme.  But once I start liking someone, the apple of my eye is elevated to a pedestal that I feel is harder for me to obtain.  As a defense mechanism, I buckle down and I push friends-mode to suppress showing my feelings for anyone.  That, especially, when your own friends poke fun at you or call you out on your behavior.  It's that dreaded feeling of, "it's written all over my face, isn't it?"

We are all still writing our individual stories.  I'm a writer, I can click the keys on my computer at my pace and make the characters in my story do whatever I want them to.  But in the story of life, only so much is under your own control.  The rest of the plot sort of unfolds by itself.  At least for now, I've found the page I want to be at.  We'll see if the right characters join my chapter.  Wherever you are in your story, make the most of it! To be continued...

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Tue, 11 Sep 2012 23:56:00 -0700 You deserve to be with someone.. http://giveandgo.posterous.com/you-deserve-to-be-with-someone http://giveandgo.posterous.com/you-deserve-to-be-with-someone

...who wants to spend every waking moment with you.

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